Working towards a better life
Journal Entry: Thu Jul 17, 2008, 5:30 PM
Still overheated, but thankfully done working for the day. Another new computer magazine. 130 Essential Vista Tools does sound like it will greatly benefit my computer. Seems to work with Windows XP. Presumably Vista is not that much more advanced. A program to help create my very own website is of course beneficial to my writing career. Spending about $25 to ensure that this laptop computer is good enough to last the next 20-30 years is a sound business decision. More than enough memory to handle 2GB. Purchased this computer to operate for a serious writing career. And possible Internet DJ too.
These two CDs seem to have all the software to help me become at the very least a famous writer. Easily promote myself and my future website through Deviant Art and of course on MySpace. Well aware that young women seem to be drawn to successful men as well as the dregs of society that are Players and Pickup Artists. Not really sure why with the latter, but the former choice of consort does make sense. Once again reminded of the Christie Brinkley divorce. Seems that a young woman will truly abase herself sexually no matter how old a given man is if he also happens to have money. Which incidentally greatly diminishes the appeal of American women in general when such foolish behavior is common.
A woman's love becomes largely worthless if it cannot be unquestioningly lasting. Not to mention how little of an actual hold it should have if a supposedly Wonderful dad gets recently arrested for seeking out a 14 year old girl for sex. Obvious from his physical appearance in the mug shot that he has to be married. One does not usually degenerate physically unless one is married in the traditional fashion. So in general, do not consider myself to be lacking much if I am not intimately involved with just any woman during this lifetime. Perhaps no one worthy has entered my life because I have already met the one person who will be special to me for the next few decades: Lulu Black.
Objectively speaking, how could she not remain important to me even if she chooses not to propose to me at any point? Based on my listening to country music, I believe that emotionally needing someone too much is mistaken for Love. That a male cannot truly function or go through life without a woman. Like to think that being reincarnated as a person of the opposite sex has not rendered me weak. Why does my best friend need to prove she is important to me by being obligated to marry me? Why do I supposedly need her by mere virtue of her being female to cook & clean for me? Incidentally, that is the basis of what makes for an ideal wife in the eyes of most American men. Gleaned this from reading the information on the websites of Men's Rights Activists.
Real love emanates outwards. In order to love me specifically the exact same way, Lulu Black would have to be me and she is a completely different person than myself. Therefore, she would not feel Exactly the same way. Although, in my heart, I consider her worthy enough to see her as my new husband during this incarnation. I do not consider it meaningless that despite becoming aware of the possibility of sexual intimacy with women younger than her, I chose to decline and simply remain her friend. I may always deeply regret that I had more than one sexual partner in this lifetime before my own Awakening, but if anything I am Glad that I gave my virginity to someone like her.
- Mood:
Happy
Euphoric
Anxious
